Everyone knows red wine and white wine, and who among us doesn’t love a nice pink wine or a complex orange wine. People sometimes talk about Côt and Malbec as “black wine”, which, okay, that’s a little dramatic but it’s fine, and if you’ve never enjoyed a fine so-white-it’s-green wine from Vinho Verde, you’re missing out.
But now there is blue wine. It comes from Spain, and is a shade of blue so blue it would make a Smurf blush. Harper’s reports it’s classic Cava blend “of Macabeu, Parellada, Xarel·lo and Chardonnay grapes and is a naturally sparkling blue aromatised wine,” made by adding “a combination of natural flower and fruit extracts.”
So a wine cooler, basically? But it’s going for £10-12 per glass on the London market, and the product—dubbed “Skyfall”—starts life as a three year gran reserva from Sant Sadurni d’Anoia, before the addition of flower and fruit turns it into a bit of crystal blue persuasion.
I’m tempted to go and make a list of all the incredible glasses of wine one could drink in London for £10-12 per. Trust me that it would be an extensive and wide-ranging list, full of splashes that might challenge what you know about wine already, open you up to exciting new producers and regions, and yes, even better your life. But instead of doing that—and drawing a stark comparison between these wines and Skyfall, about whose life-improving properties I am unconvinced—please instead enjoy this short retinue of jokes about blue wine.
Blue wine: What Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen drink when blue milk just won’t cut it.
Blue wine: Now recommended by Dr. Tobias Funke (“I blew myself!”).
Blue wine: Coming soon to the natural wine fair in hell.
Blue wine: At last, a wine for my weekend rave habit.
How was your blue wine? It blew.
Jordan Michelman is a co-founder and editor at Sprudge Media Network. Read more Jordan Michelman on Sprudge Wine.
Top image via Skyfall.
Jordan Michelman is a co-founder of Sprudge. His writing has appeared in T Magazine, The New York Times, Seattle Metropolitan Magazine, and Willamette Week.